I doubt I will ever find the words to convey the emotions of Christina’s passing from this earth. However, I do know that my life’s greatest privilege has been sharing Christina’s story as I travel the world, endeavoring to give the ripple affect of her life a little nudge. 

Every year since 2013 has been a marker of time, a gauge if you will, a way to measure and quantify the unthinkable, a world without Christina’s physical presence. It has also become a way to measure the promises I made to Christina and to reflect on promises kept. 

Each year this anniversary date has brought about a special moment that has revealed itself like a love letter from God. In my minds eye, I see Jesus taking Christina by the hand and leading her to the edge of heaven, blowing a little puff to clear back the clouds and then saying to her, “there’s your Dad Christina, he still loves you more than he knows how to say. I’m going to let him know today that you still think he’s very special and that he is loved.”

Seven years ago, this date found me standing on a fourth floor balcony in Istanbul, Turkey. Gazing out over the Hagia Sofia as the sun rose over this historic city, I felt a closeness to Christina, much like our experiences when she still graced this earth. A beautiful dove circled the rooftop that I was standing on, a feather slipping gently from her wings. I watched in awe as the feather drifted it’s way towards the earth in little circles, only inches from my outstretched hands. I wanted to clutch that feather and hold on to it with all of my heart, but somehow, I knew that that it was not meant to be. Instead, I received it as a sign of not holding on to anything in life too tightly, to allow the blessings of God to come and go as he wills and to look to him as the source of everything and to be grateful for both the good, and the bad.

Five years ago today I was in Russia and full of joy from the divine appointments that defined that day. I felt the unmistakable presence of God as I shared Christina’s story with my new friends, feeling the light of God streaming through the windows of the ancient 15th century Tikhvin monastery just outside of St, Petersburg, 

Today, August 18th, 2022 marks nine years since Christina’s passing into heaven and the list of people that I look forward to introducing to her continues to grow. I often have this mental image of leading people up to Christina in heaven, each person smiling after they meet, each one glancing back at me to say “oh now I understand your stories, she IS special.”